Whenever there is a deadline to file and/or serve documents, you can always measure the pettiness/animosity of one of the parties by what time they file their documents and serve them on the opposing party. This is especially true when you know the party has long since finished drafting the paperwork (this obviously excludes the last-minute procrastinators). Therefore, I’ve created the following scale so you can measure just how petty the opposing party is being.

So as we wait for MLS and PSV to file their documents, you can measure their pettiness based on when they file, though this of course works in all sorts of legal contexts. This is scientifically proven, so don’t go questioning my methods. Without further ado: The Attorney Pettiness Scale!

I’ve come up with a brief description of each Petty Level:

 Shows that while the parties disagree, they have a reasonable working relationship. At least portends well for a possible solution to the case, or at least that the parties will work in good faith.

 Parties working reasonably well, though filing/serving during lunch shows that party filing has a lack of regard for clerks or legal assistants who need to eat too. Likely more clueless than petty.

 Usually the sign of a procrastinator; the later in the day, the more likely the party filing lacks consideration for the other party wanting to get out of the office and get to Happy Hour.

 In some ways, the most petty of the bunch. Timing the filing and serving until the last minute before the other party is ready to leave the office. The sign of a malevolent mind.

 The truly passive-aggressive. Technically compliant (which is the worst type of compliant) in that they’ve followed the rules, though they know that nobody is likely to be around to review the filing. Or worse, they’ll have to return to work. A nasty piece of work, this one.

Edit: I received a request to account for PSV/MLS giving the plaintiffs the proverbial middle finger and not filing today. Here you go!

 Some men just want to watch the world burn, indeed. 😉